The Best Night of my Life

As a student, living in the prosperity of the United States and enjoying the simple things in life, I find myself very grateful for the situation I'm in and hope to one day reflect on these good times. However everyone has struggles, and here are some of mine.

This week I have spent my time in my father's new apartment without internet. It really does suck to not be able to figure something out literally at the touch of a button, a gift that you can't appreciate until it's gone. Besides the point, I wasn't able to get anything done study-wise besides the information that I already had on my computer prior to going there. I was forced to turn to television to suffice my boredom of studying, which became ultimately a distraction on its own rather than a "break time" from Cell Biology, which I had the book to but couldn't read for more than 30 minutes at a time due to its repulsive repetitiveness of never-ending cascades of reactions and so on that I don't want to think about.

Besides that I came into the apartment with 3 things on my mind, get my paperwork for financial aid which will be (no joke) "Cancelled" on tuesday if I don't bring in the paperwork necessary. It took me 3 days to gather all that information from the respective sources necessary. Immediately afterwards my phone minutes went out. I was literally stuck between 4 walls w.o. communication. It was frustrating. I also happenned to forget to pack my tshirts so I only had 2 shirts and had to wash (aka spend money) several times as a cost of this mistake. My tshirts are currently folded in a pile on my bed in Patapsco where they don't belong. All this going on I had to get my wisdom tooth pulled out at some point because it was crooked. Apparently I later used my dad's cell to call and it turns out that they are on break this week (the dental students of course) and will return next week. This came as a relax to me as I am now able to focus on my studies and get my things done. IN the process of this I had to buy myself food as my dad had been living alone and he would eat out all the time = not enough food in house for more than 2 days. I used up as much as I could, then I had to go and get stuff. I ended up spending like no joke 80+ bucks and rising on stuff over the past week. The moment I'm done with all this and ready to return to campus, I get delayed an extra day stuck baby-sitting which is fine I guess, no big deal. No realistic studying during that time either though. Then I finally get to campus this week and spend I shit you not an hour looking for my friends apartment (didnt pick up phone til after I found apt.) and finally get there after dragging my stuff up and down the hill like 8 times (hr of walking=I have to do laundry AGAIN). Anyway, I call up my other friend and see if he wants to study. SO we head out to the library and watch Craig lecture *snooze* and spend 3 hours on a lecture that is only 75 minutes. Yes it is that challenging to figure out what he is talking about. Anyhow I felt I benefited from doing that so we go out and eat (more spending) and misspend money as usual on food. Then we come back waste some time and get some more work done, when I decide to go get my laptop. I get back only to find that my laptop isnt working. WTF. The screen isnt going on and it keeps booting for a minute then restarting. WTF. It has to have been from going up and down the hill earlier that day. UGH!! That is the reason I'm writing this. Not because of all the other stupid stuff going on in my life (impending UMBC bill that MUST get paid, financial aid, waiting on decisions for jobs, looking for a summer job) or because of my studies (I'm prob getting a B or C in a class that I am REPEATING because I messed up one lab, getting a B or C in a class that I should be teaching, getting a C in a class that med skools look at, getting a B or C in a class that I can't stand).

Its natural of people to look back and reflect, what is going well that is keeping my sanity. Is it the fact I'm doing well in a class that is actually important for my major? Is it the fact that I am not starving, homeless and am in school trying to establish a career for myself that will ensure my financial security? Is it the fact that there are people that although I only need two hands to count them, will work their hardest to make sure I succeed and will give their heart to help me when I need it? Is it my realization that this world is but a moment and I am doing the best I can with what I have.................................................but am I? I honestly need to remember who I am. Who was Fouad before he came back to the US. What kind of individual were you? What was your priority in this life? Where did your trust lie? Where was your heart? You know damn well what the answer to those questions are. Be weary of the next steps you take, because they may as well be the ones that will send you down an never-ending spiral of sorrow that you wish you had never seen. It's easy to forget. It's easy to get distracted. It's ok to face loss. It's ok to have everything you worked at washed away. It's ok to be tested. What isnt ok is just to ignore the facts and turn the other cheek. You know who you are; you know exactly what you are doing. Make the moment count. Don't falter in your resolve, stand strong and don't be crushed by anything. Face your Maker and remember who you are. No....no....there is no Fouad was, only a Fouad IS.